Morning Hot Flash July 1, 2008

• The Screen Actors Guild contract expired last night. Here in Los Angeles, we're all taking a moment...

• Finally! A wrap that will go with all of my shoes.

• I'll be going to the polls in my Seven For All Mankind jeans...what about you?

• If the "Little House On The Prairie" look starts being featured on fashion runways...I'll kill myself.

• Why are all must-read new novels set in Manhattan starring filthy rich and obscenely thin women who own fifty pairs of Christian Louboutin shoes? Why aren't any must-reads set in the 'burbs, starring slightly chubby and bank account-challenged middle-aged women who wear flip-flops from Kohl's?

I'll Have What She's Having...

I used to watch "Charlie's Angels" when I was in high school. I thought that once my acne cleared up, I'd grow up to look like one of them. Now that I'm in my 40s...I'm sure my acne will clear up soon.

Meanwhile, Jaclyn Smith refuses to age. She's the current host of the reality snore-fest "Shear Genius" on Bravo. It's a very poor place holder for the fabulously exciting "Project Runway."

I don't know why Ponce de Leon ending up finding Florida in his search for the fountain of eternal life, because the juice is obviously on tap over at Jackie's Beverly Hills crib.

Extra Tit-Bits

• Because having one isn't enough.
  


• Youngest chick ever wins the LPGA U.S. Open...but it's the old hen who gets the eagle.

Morning Hot Flash June 30, 2008

• Based on the successful "America's Next Top Model," the BBC has launched "Britain's Missing Top Model" featuring eight disabled contestants who are competing for a top modeling contract. No worries...we've already got our own disabled modeling program in the United States.

• Shocking news that the people who are watching television aren't even a part of TV's target demo anymore. The oldest skewing shows are "Monk" and "Women's Murder Club" -- which comes as no surprise to fans of those shows who used to watch "Murder, She Wrote" with their me-maws.

• No one is happy when a gallon of gas cost more than a cup of coffee.

• Women over 40 are still invisible...but now that Sex And The City: The Movie was box office boffo...Hollywood wants to see our wallets.

• Why am I reading this article that was written by a guy? Cuz I just might learn something...

• Bill tells Barack to pucker up...which brings us to today's Classic Movie Quote:
  
  Aaron: No, I think anyone who puckers up their lips and presses it against their bosses buttocks and then smooches is an ass-kisser.

Here's To You, Mrs. Robinson

There's a reason why Deanna's not keeping her maiden name. And it's not because she didn't get married until she was almost 40. 

It's Hard Out There For a Pimp Over 40

There are many things that are easier when you're over 40...telling someone what's really on your mind...buying tampons and/or Vagisil when there's a really hot guy at the cash register...getting a restaurant to turn on the a/c because you're having a flash...but looking for a new gig in digital media isn't one of them.

You Give Love A Bad Name

I've been told that Courtney Love has some cultural significance in the world. I am loathe to actually believe that rumor. For heaven's sake, Courtney! You are every man's nightmare about women over 40 come true. You're wearing me-maw grey cotton panties underneath a lacy see-through dress. Don't you know that's what men fear is going on underneath our clothes?

Maybe you thought you were scoring points by wearing a matching bra and panty set. Unfortunately, the set you're wearing is something my college roommate would wear to have brunch with her folks on Parents Day...and she was on the lacrosse team, enuf said.

Men want to believe that all women are wearing silky satin matching push-up bra and thong panties under our clothes. Yes, they are delusional. But I see no reason why you should burst their bubble...