Cinderellavision

Meet Skidboot. Getting to know his story will make your day.

Right this way...your carriage awaits

For the past three weeks there has been the correct amount of cars commuting on the freeways of Los Angeles. Unfortunately, today the joy that was driving to work during the holidays has come to an end. The only pleasure of being in Los Angeles while everyone else is on break in exotic locations like St. Barts, Park City and Rhode Island is that they're not trying to kill you on the freeway when they're out of town. My estimated time needed to successfully cruise from my home in the 'burbs to my office in the valley was cut in half. Can you believe it? My commute time became an almost manageable half-hour. That's like nothing in L.A. You don't even have to pack snacks and an emergency bottle of water.

During these times of free freeway driving I forget that it is not normal. And I start daydreaming about doing things with all the free time in my life...free time that disappears the minute that the holidays are over and the incorrect amount of people are back on the overcrowded freeways of Los Angeles. The only silver lining I can see to the clogged freeways that greeted me as I ventured out on my commute this morning is that I did feel like I took my life in my hands a few less times than I did over the holidays. That's only because I'm inching along the freeway at less than 10 mph for a majority of the trip. That means I'm more likely to have a fender bender than a big smash 'em up. (Dear God, My preference would be for neither. I can't afford to have my car fixed, and I maxed out my health insurance for awhile with the surgery.)

I am bored with my commute. The dude I had been listening to on the radio doesn't like hockey...and for awhile I was able to overlook that particular character flaw...but his disdain for the Red Wings and the NHL Winter Classic was so strong that I can no longer listen to him in good conscience. I can't ever find a song I like on the radio in the morning because I'm in the car during morning drive time when advertisers know I'm trapped and they run back-to-back-to- back commercials for stuff I don't need. Or want to listen to. My CDs are old. I've been there, done that. I've gotten so good at singing along that I'm thinking of auditioning as a back-up singer for the Dixie Chicks. I may not have the voice, but I've got all the moves a middle-aged white girl could need. I used to listen to books on CD in my car. One time I got so engrossed in a Sue Grafton mystery novel while I was driving up north in Michigan that I missed my exit and ended up in Gaylord instead of Cadillac. Perhaps that doesn't seem like a big deal to you...but I assure you that on the road to Traverse City, going through Cadillac cuts a few minutes off your trip. For awhile I had a GPS system in my car. It was nice. She was nice. I say 'she' because it's a female voice that gives you driving instructions. When ever I made a decision that was different from the route she was planning for me, she'd say in the most passive-aggressive voice I've ever heard, "Recalculating!" It's obvious that 'recalculating' means something other than how it's defined in the dictionary. And so...I'm uncertain as to what to do in my car while I'm commuting to work.

Any suggestions?

Have you checked out the oral history of the Bush White House that's in Vanity Fair this month? It's worth reading...but very disquieting.

The guys who were supposed to be regulating the Securities Exchange are going to be questioned about how Bernie Madoff got away with his Ponzi scheme under their watch. It should make for some good television...maybe not as good as Top Chef...but seriously, what is?

Check this out! It's a novel published on the Internets in a serial form inspired by Charles Dickens. They call it a 'wovel.'

Cinderellavision

Emma Thompson plays a real Cinderella...or is it Dustin Hoffman? Either way. It intrigues!

Ice, Ice, Baby...

Happy New Year!

2009 kicks off at the ice rink. I can't think of anything better! The NHL Winter Classic between the Chicago Blackhawks and the Detroit Red Wings will be broadcast today on NBC. Oh, and it's gonna be in freakin' HD. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't get much better than that. The ONLY way it could be better is if I actually didn't have to work today and could be at home enjoying the game with a cold Newcastle and some Lil' Smokies...but really...I think that may be asking for too much.

And where might you ask is the Winter Classic going to be held? In Wrigley Field in Chicago, I would answer. Can you believe it? An honest-to-goodness NHL game that's going to be held out-of-doors in a legendary baseball stadium in the middle of winter. It's almost like Heaven. The only thing missing will be my favorite hockey play-by-play announcer Doc Emmerick. Doc is sidelined with laryngitis. He is infamous for saying things like, "Lidstrom pitchforks it over the blue line..." The man's a Hall of Famer and a true genius.

I watched the Red Wings practice yesterday online -- they're wearing their old jerseys from when the NHL was just six teams. They've got black under their eyes to keep the sun from being a problem. They look great in their vintage wear -- like warriors. The rivalry between the Blackhawks and the Red Wings is well-established and should add to the allure of the game. And when I say 'allure' I mean that someone's gonna drop their gloves and attempt to knock some other guy's block off. Yay!

Can you think of a better way to kick off the new year?

I hope not.

Yes, for those of you traditionalists, the Tournament of Roses parade is going to be broadcast on HGTV. Ah! The lovely floats, the marching bands, and Cinderella Cloris Leachman is the Grand Marshall of the parade. You'll have to tune in to the highlights to see her. But the hockey's the thing this first day of 2009. And for those of you who just can't get enough of the ice...there's figure skating on right after the game. What would Brian Boitano do? He'd watch hockey! What a great way to kick off 2009!

Fasten Your Seatbelts...It's Going To Be A Bumpy Night

If asked to come up with a one-word summation of 2008, I would have to say, "Bumpy." 2008 was full of surprises, unfortunately so many of them were disappointments. I am, however, most grateful to have my health and be gainfully employed going into the new year. In order to create a new world order for the year of 2009 that will dawn on the morrow, I have taken to repeating a one-word mantra for the New Year.

Bliss.

It is my hope for the new year.

Bliss.

It's a lovely word, isn't it? Saying it is almost as good as taking a spa vacation. It trips over the tongue as deliciously as a chocolate truffle. I've been silently repeating it over and over in great hopes that I will be able to manifest a "blissful" new year. You too should find one-word mantra of your very own to help guide you into 2009. I'd love to know what your word is. Please let me know.

• Don't try to fool me. I know you got a copy of "Dewey the small-town library cat who touched the world" about the life and times of Dewey Readmore Books in your Christmas stocking. I'm certain that you haven't been able to put it down since then, but to shuffle into the kitchen to make a cup of herbal spiced tea. Well, listen up fans of Dewey, the word on the street is that librarian and best-selling author Vicky Myron has adopted a new kitten -- appropriately named Page. Photographic proof available here.

• Continuing on the same theme...here's another cat who was in the news in 2008. Check out the photos of Frankie the cat burglar. He has no remorse about his crimes. None whatsoever.

• What's up with the chick flick? It's always been my favorite genre. Why is Hollywood trying so hard to harsh on my buzz?

• Do you remember when it was cool to be a tomboy? Nowadays everyone just assumes being a tomboy is the same as lesbian. It's really too bad.

Editor's Note: Today's "blissful" woodland scene is brought to you by the Handsomest Man Alive whose plans to travel back to sunny Southern California for New Year's Eve have been changed by a snowstorm in the Northeast. Falling snow is so beautiful when you're some place safe and warm.

Daily Hot Flash

• Tonight is Betty's favorite television night of the year. Yep, she considers this even better than the annual Christmas time broadcast of The Sound of Music in high definition. Shocking, I know, but true. This year, they're going to be honoring her boyfriend, Morgan Freeman too. It's almost too good to be true. Please, no phone calls after 8:00 p.m. EDT !

• Thinking about making a change in your appearance for the New Year? There's a fantabulous website that allows you to upload a photo and then preview what different styles would look like on you before you commit to one particular look with the scissors. I personally only have one or two good hair days a month -- which when working in tandem with the severe PMS I seem to be afflicted with means that I really only have a couple of days when I can interact with the public. A new hairstyle might be just the thing to turn it around for me.

• Here's a Cinderella who's not going to go without a fight. Hey sister! Go sister!

• A reporter is given the assignment to cover the current economic crisis from the perspective of people who've lost their jobs. And then she's finds out she's being fired as part of a big cost-cutting layoff at NPR. Ugh!

• White House Press Secretary Dana Perino went on Christmas vacation and left the interns in charge. Did anyone see the deputy press secretary give his briefing yesterday? Seriously! He looks like a junior in high school. What happened to gravitas? And does anyone know where George W. Bush is spending the holidays? I've heard it's Camp David, but I've seen no photographic evidence of the leader of the free world -- which makes me nervous because there's an all-out war going on in the Middle East. Could someone take the candy cane out of his hand and tell him to act like a world leader?

• I want one of these!

Daily Hot Flash

• Didja watch The Sound of Music last night on an HD television? Oh yeah, you did. Stop denying it. You know you can't turn away when Maria and the kids break-out the marionettes and start singing "The Lonely Goatherd." It's as much of a holiday tradition as the Christmas tree near the front window in your living room. Every time I watch, I have a new favorite scene. Last night it was when Maria and Captain von Trapp do the little folk dance in the garden and they're discovered by the evil Baroness who sends the virgin governess packing in the next scene. Passion! Intrigue! Jealousy! Woo-hoo! In real life, Maria wasn't as cool as Julie Andrews, but that doesn't mean that I'm not just as intrigued by the idea of spending a weekend in Vermont. Yo-da-lady-hee-hoo!

• When I run away from home...this is where I will be found. I hope.

• 39 years-old and she's never looked better. Go Cinderella Cate!

• Turns out it's the Internet that's killing the book business . It has nothing to do with the current recession...

• Colonel Peacock in the drawing room with the lead pipe! Please forgive my irreverance, a life has been lost, but Agatha Christie would've loved this. If only Hercule Poirot was onboard, the murder mystery would've been solved by the time they reached port and everyone on the ship would've had their fingerprints on the murder weapon.

• Single and solvent is the new luxury lifestyle being targeted by a new glossy niche magazine...raise your hand if you're solvent enough to buy a glossy magazine to read with your $4 coffee! I don't see many...