To London, To London

President and Mrs. O are off to London for the G20 conference. And they've been invited to Buckingham Palace to have dinner with Queen Elizabeth. Oh! To have an invitation to that dinner party! What I wouldn’t give to watch the Obamas charm the royal lace drawers off of that old bird.

I must admit to a long-term fascination with the British Monarchy. I was eighteen when Diana Spencer became engaged to Prince Charles. I remember so well getting up at 5:00 am with my mom to watch the festivities. We had just settled on the sofa when my Dad came around the corner and settled himself into his La-Z-Boy chair so he wouldn’t miss out on a moment.

And that’s the thing about that wedding, I don’t know anyone who didn’t watch. It was like watching a real-life version of Cinderella. And Diana....she was one of us. She had never outgrown the desires of her thirteen year-old self. When it came to engagement rings, she picked out the biggest sapphire in the British Isles. Wouldn't you? When it came to wedding dresses, she picked up the one with the most ruffles, bows and longest train. Bring it on! When it came to flowers, she said, ‘more, more, more!’ Fortunately, she also had good taste.

Queen Elizabeth, unfortunately, did not enjoy having a daughter-in-law that was so completely in touch with her inner 'tween. It’s too bad. Diana’s wedding was an incredible moment of good publicity for HRH. They’ve certainly had to work hard to remake their image after Diana’s death. The whole world was devastated when Cinderella’s real-life marriage didn’t work, and Diana died after running off to Paris with a rogue.

But this is a new era for all of us. And our new President and his missus are off to London to see the Queen.

Not to be outdone by the Obama administration forcing the White House into the information age, HRH Elizabeth has recently gone out and gotten herself a website. There are some other websites that are even more intriguing -- full of gossip and photographs of the current young royals and their nuptials.

When you're alone and life is making you lonely...

I spent last night in the waiting room of the local urgent care. It was filled with little kids who were coughing and wheezing with assorted kinds of creaping crud. If I don't come down with consumption after two hours breathing their germs, it will be a miracle.

• While I was there, the Westminster Kennel Club show got on without me. The WKC dog show is the bright light in every frigid February. And if you miss the first night, no worries, things really get going on the second night. It is not to be missed. And this year, a scottie won the terrier group, so things are going to be sweet in the final round. Her bloodline includes the Anstamm kennel -- and my first dog, Angus, was an Anstamm on his father's side. So I'll be cheering tonight for a family member. The top four finishers in the terrier group (seen clockwise above from left): Scottish Terrier: Ch Roundtown Mercedes Of Maryscot. Female born Apr. 2, 2005. Sealyham Terrier: Ch Efbe's Hidalgo At Goodspice. Male born May 19, 2004. Norwich Terrier: Ch Skyscot's Poker Chip. Male born June 17, 2006. Miniature Schnauzer: Ch Earthsong Remedy For The Blues. Male born Dec. 21, 2006.

• Last night was President Obama's first White House press conference. While his performance is getting mixed reviews -- I still can't get over the fact that we have a guy running the country who properly uses the word, 'bellicose.' Unbelievable! Gobama!

• Here's the antidote to Valentine's Day. What kind of crazy dude runs away from Sandra Dee?

• Have you seen Captain Cool on television? I love this guy. My favorite quote: "I was sure I could do it." I would kill for that kind of confidence.

THIS JUST IN: Betty, who currently cohabitates with a white Scottie named Primrose, checked in this morning with this information: "Sadie, the 'real name' of the little Scottie who won the best of the terrier group, is owned by the people who own the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island. She is the granddaughter of Bardene Bingo, who was imported from England and won best of Westminster in 1967. Sadie wore the lead worn by her grandmother last night at the WKC. Our Angus was the grandson of the same dog, and I think most of the Scotties in Michigan have a little Bingo in their blood."

I stayed up past my bedtime for this?

I was invited to a music industry event last night by the Handsomest Man Alive. I'm not sure why I was invited, but being a girl who doesn't like to look a Trojan gift invitation in the mouth, I accepted without hesitation. It was a lovely event at a small studio tucked in behind the Formosa Cafe and across the street from The Lot -- it's one of my favorite and most historic parts of Hollywood. I sat on a red naugahyde sofa and shared sushi with a lovely woman named Princess. (No. Seriously!) I couldn't have been enjoying myself any more -- but it turns out this event also included live music. Live! It was four boys from Doooblin (that's not a typo, that's how they pronounced it!) called The Script. They were very good, and the lead singer reminded me of Chris Martin and Bono. I'm not too ashamed to tell you -- Danny, I think is his name-o, is a bit of a heartthrob. Tall with dimples -- he's the full package. I had to keep reminded myself that I am old enough to be his mother. So I fussed over him...but not too much...I hope.

During the set, they were also filming a reality program called The Hills that is all the rage with the twenty-year-olds. The director yelled at me to get out of the way of the camera at one point. Wouldn't look good to have a woman over 40 drift into the frame...but I ignored him. I guess he didn't get the memo that after a certain age, we're NOT listening.

• Woo-hoo! President Obama signed the Lilly Ledbetter bill into law today. It's a really big deal. And Lilly, a Cinderella role model, danced with the new president at one of the inaugural balls. You should definitely get to know this chick. She rocks!
  
  
• This news scares me to death. And this just makes my blood boil...

• I'm going to try to end today on a happy note. Have you seen the commercial for the Snuggie? I've been tempted to order it too many times to mention. My only problem is what color...Or should I get them all.

Daily Hot Flash

• Didja watch The Sound of Music last night on an HD television? Oh yeah, you did. Stop denying it. You know you can't turn away when Maria and the kids break-out the marionettes and start singing "The Lonely Goatherd." It's as much of a holiday tradition as the Christmas tree near the front window in your living room. Every time I watch, I have a new favorite scene. Last night it was when Maria and Captain von Trapp do the little folk dance in the garden and they're discovered by the evil Baroness who sends the virgin governess packing in the next scene. Passion! Intrigue! Jealousy! Woo-hoo! In real life, Maria wasn't as cool as Julie Andrews, but that doesn't mean that I'm not just as intrigued by the idea of spending a weekend in Vermont. Yo-da-lady-hee-hoo!

• When I run away from home...this is where I will be found. I hope.

• 39 years-old and she's never looked better. Go Cinderella Cate!

• Turns out it's the Internet that's killing the book business . It has nothing to do with the current recession...

• Colonel Peacock in the drawing room with the lead pipe! Please forgive my irreverance, a life has been lost, but Agatha Christie would've loved this. If only Hercule Poirot was onboard, the murder mystery would've been solved by the time they reached port and everyone on the ship would've had their fingerprints on the murder weapon.

• Single and solvent is the new luxury lifestyle being targeted by a new glossy niche magazine...raise your hand if you're solvent enough to buy a glossy magazine to read with your $4 coffee! I don't see many...

Hot Holiday Wishes

• Last night we went on a tour of local homes decorated with Christmas lights. When we pulled into one neighborhood we couldn’t believe our eyes. The neighbors had all pitched in and stretched sparkling lights across the street between their homes. I thought I’d seen everything when I spotted a car parked at the curb covered with at ten-foot tall Santa cap, until I saw the guy who was himself covered in Christmas lights. Throughout the neighborhood, groups of people had bundled up in warm clothes and gathered in front of woodfire pits in their driveways to watch all of the festivities. My favorite was the guy who was playing Christmas tunes on a piano in his garage, amped up so that the line of cars could hear him. And as people drove past small children offered the lookiloos ‘free candy canes.’ So if you want to be a Scrooge this holiday season, you’re going to have to do it some where other than the Santa Clarita Valley, because folks here seem to have the spirit – struggling economy or not. Need a little Christmas, right this very minute? Then you should go on your own holiday light tour.

• And then we stopped for some Hot Chocolate! Yummy!

• Don’t expect to see the President-elect and his family bundled up against the bitter chill of a Chicago winter this Christmas. The future first family will be chillin’ and keeping it real at a ‘multi-million dollar resort’ in Hawaii this year.

• Meanwhile, when the current President isn’t doing the terrorist fist bump with Santa, we hope he’s spending his time in the White House packing up his stuff this holiday season. There are plenty of volunteers willing to come over and help him put his stuff in boxes. Can I get a show of hands? Amen!

• In this holiday season when so much is so wrong and there is so very little to celebrate, we have People magazine to let us know that one type of pine tree is more trendy than any other. This type of fir tree is the choice of all the Hollywood celebrities. Not only are you supposed to feel bad about not having a Birkin bag tucked under your arm at the mall, you’re also supposed to feel bad about the Charlie Brown Christmas tree in your living room.

Daily Hot Flash

• Who won last night's debate? Two out of three experts say it was 'that one.' The third expert must've been watching 'Dancing With The Stars.'

• Celebrate Cinderellas! Good times! Esquire Magazine gives women over 40 their props by declaring on their cover that the sexiest woman alive is 42 years-old. "I share this title with every woman, because every woman is a nominee for it at any moment," she says.

• Turns out it's women who bear the heavy load when finances become a stress point. Did they really have to take a poll to figure that one out?

• Another story to file under 'tell me something I didn't already know.'

• A new documentary examines why so many women go to art school, but more men succeed as artists....hmmm, makes a girl think, doesn't it?

• I'm fascinated by these kind of projects...definitely a book I want to add to my cue at the library.

• I love birds. And it's sometimes hard to love birds when you live with a cat. I'm currently feeding a little hummingbird named Frank who hangs out around the pool at my building. He's one cool cat. Why is his name Frank, you might ask? It's the way he wears his hat.

Daily Hot Flash

• Cloris Leachman is a one-woman advertisement for getting old...and a good excuse to watch the guilty pleasure that is "Dancing With The Stars." The girl is rocking it!

• One of my all-time favorite films is coming to Broadway as a musical. The early review isn't great...but there's still plenty of time to work things out...in the mean time, I suggest you rent the DVD and enjoy the movie again...It's still just as funny...and unfortunately just as politically relevant.

• Enjoy the movie with a cheap wine, these days you can get one that's better than Boone's Farm Strawberry Wine...and doesn't have the tell-tale screw-off lid.

• I admit I am fascinated by Brangelina. Not because they're young, rich and beautiful, but because they're citizens of the world -- moving from a French chateau to a palatial villa outside Berlin. I don't know how they do it -- this constant moving. I'm still fighting with The Gas Company to get a $55.00 overpayment on my last apartment applied to the bill at my new apartment. ( I moved Dec '07.)I gave up two months ago and asked if they'd just cut me a check. They said it would take twelve weeks to process my request. Go figure!

• From the Department of 'No Shit, Sherlock!"

Daily Hot Flash

• A new New York Times/CBS poll puts Obama back out in front of the Presidential horse race after enduring two weeks of Sarah-mania. It was a national poll -- so it doesn't really count because as we all learned during the '2004 Election Debacle', our country elects our national leader using the Electoral College method. Before Sarah Palin banishes me to Siberia (which I understand she can see from her house), the method that I'm mentioning has nothing to do with birth control. And I'm with New York Times' columnist Maureen Dowd when I tell you that I'm so over Caribou Barbie.

• Meanwhile, Democratic Veep candidate Joe Biden has been practicing inserting his foot into his mouth...again. I thought he had already gotten so good at this trick that he was an expert...but no matter. There must be a more eloquent way of saying that the middle-class are bearing too much of the burden.

• White House spokesperson Dana Perino has been getting her own personal peek at the mortgage crisis.

• The lovely Rachel Maddow's new show on MSNBC kicks everyone's ass in the ratings.

• Sarah Palin may have made him rich and famous...but he's sticking with Obama.

• A snippet of the theme song for the new James Bond film has been previewed on the BBC. It sounds good! I'm getting excited for the November release -- Daniel Craig will be in his swim trunks again, won't he?

Morning Hot Flash August 28, 2008

The pretty boy hosts of MSNBC have been cat-fighting on and off their television playground. The president of MSNBC says not to worry, it's just boys being boys. MSNBC's Democratic convention headquarters is at Union Station in Denver, and the other night it was a train that added a little levity to the situation. Peep it here.

John McCain has reached a decision. Will he pick a woman? Or should Mitt Romney pick out a nice tie while the Obama/Biden campaign stamps its new campaign slogan, "Two men...two houses" on T-shirts?

German Chancellor Angela Merkel tops Forbes' list of the world's most powerful women. She immediately declined George Bush's kind invitation for a celebratory back rub.

Who made the best dressed list at the DNC in Denver? Check out the website of the Chicago-based designer who tops Michelle Obama's fav list.

Michael Phelps will host 'Saturday Night Live' the week of Sept 13 in his dolphin swim suit. Ok, the swim suit part is wishful thinking.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

I'm not in it.

Morning Hot Flash August 27, 2008

• Glamour magazine salutes Hill's year in pantsuits in this month's issue. She made the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuits proud as she rocked the orange in Denver last night.



• He's singing "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You" now.
  
  
• Just so we're clear, my upper age-limit for men is whatever age Paul Newman is currently. I would never want to miss out on my chance due to a technicality.

• Remember how much we all hated Marcel on Top Chef? Ok, well all that collective bad karma has finally gotten him in trouble. Or maybe it was the wine...
  
  
• Turns out Elizabeth Edwards was supposed to go public with the shame and humiliation of her husband's affair. What do you suggest, exactly? That she pass out flyers at the Post Office that proclaim, "My husband's a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater?"



• A&F stores all smell really good, but I'm so glad that I'm too fat and old to fit into their clothes.



• My homegirl, Kathleen Sebelius, was an opening act for Hillary last night at the DNC. Just in case you missed her speech, not only did she illuminate Obama's strengths to the hard-to-win over rural voters, she kicked John McCain in the moneymaker with wit and eloquence. Rock on, sister!

Morning Hot Flash August 3, 2008

• "You can take the girl out of Michigan, but you can't take Michigan out of the girl," the Material Girl said during her weekend visit to the Traverse City Film Festival. Thanks for the great reporting, TMZ! Michael Moore and Madonna aren't from Traverse City, Michigan -- they were both born and raised in the thumb, but once Moore became rich and famous, he realized the error of his upbringing, and moved to the beauty of the northwoods around Traverse City. Madonna's Dad owns a winery in the Leelanau peninsula. And how do I know all this? I'm from Traverse City, and I have the birth certificate to prove it.
  
  
• Finally! The first photo of the Brangelina twins have been posted on the Internets...anybody else think they just look like babies?
  
  
• I had always heard that Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was a secret druggie film. Thanks to the editing wizardry of some guy on YouTube, we all can see the essence of chocolate is cacao.
  
  
• Here's an idea for how Whole Foods can seem less expensive in tight economic times...cut the prices!
  
  
• I'm nursing Charlie Brown's tomato plant out on my patio, but in my delusional mind, my garden looks like this.

Morning Hot Flash July 31, 2008

• From the category of "it should come as no surprise," turns out we like our women very thin and our cats very fat. I seriously wish it was the other way around. It would be healthier for all of us. And by-the-way, the vet just confirmed that "Princess Chunk" is actually "Prince Chunk." And his foster mom is claiming he has a thyroid problem. Hmmmmm....
  

• People under 40 -- go on yoga dates. People over 40 -- get drunk on Cadillac margaritas and then go home and wrestle for control of the television remote. Who's getting a better workout? I'll let you decide.
  
  
• One of my favorite websites, Jezebel is doing a feature on the new "Celebrity Cellulite" cover story on the National Enquirer. It's my favorite annual issue. Go on! Make yourself a second cup of coffee, and settle in to scrutinize the cottage cheese on the thighs of movie stars. You'll feel a whole better about your own dimpled bum-bum...
  
  
• I cry every Sunday night when they "move that bus," but I had a horrible feeling that something like this would happen...
  
  


• I fall in love with the drama of the Olympics every two years. I'm planning to order Chinese food and enjoy the opening ceremonies from Beijing next Friday night. Did you ever wonder what happens to the athletes after the games? The New York Times found out in a fabulous multimedia report.