Cinderellavision

Happy Day After Christmas! Here's a criminal we can all cheer for...

From My Potty To Yours...Merry Christmas!

It's become a Christmas tradition in my family to have stopped up plumbing during the holiday season. And this year the tradition continues.

One year I arrived at my mom's house in the northwoods of Michigan during a patch of extremely cold weather. After a long plane trip, I slipped into the downstairs bathroom not knowing that the pipes in there faced a cold exterior wall and had frozen solid. What followed after the flush can best be described as a hiccup from Hell. We had to wait until the next morning to call the plumber. My mom and I were horrified by the state of the bathroom and we hid in the living room when he arrived. My mom's husband welcomed the plumber warmly with a cuppa joe in one hand. We listened with awe as the two guys chatted amiably as if nothing was amess. After finishing the repairs, we heard the plumber call for some cleaning supplies as if he was just going to shine up the faucets a bit. We couldn't believe it.

This year the plumbing exploded in my little apartment just in time for the holidays. I'm sure I'm the culprit again...but my mom was the one with her handle on the flusher, so I'm letting her carry the burden of the guilt. In an act of generosity and goodwill, the Handsomest Man Alive stopped by the local Do-It Center and purchased a plumber's helper to make the stoppage go away. Decorated with a tasteful Christmas ornament, it was waiting for us as we returned home from shopping. I must tell you that I think nothing says Merry Christmas like a plumber's helper on your doorstep, but I'm hoping that next year we'll start a new tradition in my family. Something that has to do with a fine wine, a toast to health and happiness or White Elephant gifting...anything other than a backed up toilet.

In the meantime, from my front door to yours...may all of the joys of this holiday season be with you. May you celebrate in the company of your nearest and dearest, may the fire in the hearth be warm, the food on the table delicious... and may your plumbing be unclogged.

Hot Holiday Wishes

• Last night we went on a tour of local homes decorated with Christmas lights. When we pulled into one neighborhood we couldn’t believe our eyes. The neighbors had all pitched in and stretched sparkling lights across the street between their homes. I thought I’d seen everything when I spotted a car parked at the curb covered with at ten-foot tall Santa cap, until I saw the guy who was himself covered in Christmas lights. Throughout the neighborhood, groups of people had bundled up in warm clothes and gathered in front of woodfire pits in their driveways to watch all of the festivities. My favorite was the guy who was playing Christmas tunes on a piano in his garage, amped up so that the line of cars could hear him. And as people drove past small children offered the lookiloos ‘free candy canes.’ So if you want to be a Scrooge this holiday season, you’re going to have to do it some where other than the Santa Clarita Valley, because folks here seem to have the spirit – struggling economy or not. Need a little Christmas, right this very minute? Then you should go on your own holiday light tour.

• And then we stopped for some Hot Chocolate! Yummy!

• Don’t expect to see the President-elect and his family bundled up against the bitter chill of a Chicago winter this Christmas. The future first family will be chillin’ and keeping it real at a ‘multi-million dollar resort’ in Hawaii this year.

• Meanwhile, when the current President isn’t doing the terrorist fist bump with Santa, we hope he’s spending his time in the White House packing up his stuff this holiday season. There are plenty of volunteers willing to come over and help him put his stuff in boxes. Can I get a show of hands? Amen!

• In this holiday season when so much is so wrong and there is so very little to celebrate, we have People magazine to let us know that one type of pine tree is more trendy than any other. This type of fir tree is the choice of all the Hollywood celebrities. Not only are you supposed to feel bad about not having a Birkin bag tucked under your arm at the mall, you’re also supposed to feel bad about the Charlie Brown Christmas tree in your living room.