The Fashion In Me

I am no fashionista. I really like fashion. I'm intrigued by clothes and style. I watch "Project Runway" like it is appointment television, but I don't have a personal style and I don't know how to dress myself to look good. I don't like to shop. I don't like to try  things on in a fitting room. Puh-leze! I can point out someone who knows how to dress with their own personal style and wear clothes that suit their body type. I'm pretty sure that makes my lack of style more even frustrating.

I have been a slave to fashion over my lifetime. I've worn painful shoes and clothes that weren't comfortable just to look like I knew what was in vogue at the time. I once wore a logo tee on a first date. I wore a tea length prom dress to a dance that has since only been worn for a Halloween costume. I frequently wear long sleeves on hot days just to cover up my arms.

I can't say that I'm always drawn to styles that suit me. I love Audrey Hepburn's style. I was a huge fan of Princess Diana and Princess Kate. I should be drawn to the style of Sofia Vergara (who's too bombshell for me) and Christina Hendricks (who often looks too dowdy) but I'm not. I wish I was.

Now and then, I've found some clothes that really work for me. They are wardrobe changers. Sometimes they are shoes (mostly boots), and sometimes they are a sweater or jacket that makes me feel like I've gotten close to pulling my look together. I have an entire drawer full of scarves that I've been using for this purpose, but I've grown to realize that scarves don't look good on women with full figures.

Earlier this year, I decided to cut my hair into a shoulder length bob. I had to beg my hair stylist – but I really thought it was time. She did a beautiful job. I think it is adorable and age appropriate. I have a photo of me with longer hair on my desk and I often pine for my longer locks, but I know I did the right thing.

It wasn't until NYFW (Fashion Week) started this week and I saw photos of Anna Wintour flitting from fashion show to fashion show that I realized that I may finally be on trend. Anna and I have the same hair-do. Now if I can only do something about my style (or lack there of) below the neck.

At Last!

Barack H. Obama has been sworn-in as the 44th President of the United States of America. Malia and Sasha steal the show at the nation's capitol. I love watching them squirm and wiggle in their chairs. So cute! Dang! Barack and Michelle are a good looking couple. And Michelle rocks it in gold. Millions of people fill the National Mall to witness the historic Inauguration. A few of them are people you might know. Check out the White House website. Too cool for school!

Daily Hot Flash

Photographic proof that Santa got my Christmas wish list. I wonder if George is on the nice list or the naughty list? Yeah. That's what I'm thinkin'. I've just gotta few articles of interest today. It's Monday, so I'm not quite up to speed.

• "Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window."

• This is Betty's favorite television viewing night of the year. Mark your calendars. This year's Kennedy Center Honors is broadcast on Dec. 30. Oh, and here's everyone looking all glammed up at the event this past weekend.

• Nina Foch was my acting teaching when I was at USC Film School. I was intimidated by her because I remembered her so distinctly in "An American in Paris." She never took a shine to me mostly I think because I didn't have any self-confidence -- something that she oozed from every pore. She was great at breaking down a scene, and making it make sense for an actor. A true actor's actor. The other thing she taught me was that if you want to seem sexy to a man then you should act as if you have secret. It will make you seem irresistible. I have attempted to use that technique on numerous occasions, but with little success. Nina was a bright light, and the world will be a little dimmer without her.

• Here's the top 20 trends in fashion in 2008...I doubt I hit one of them. And you?

• And they call it puppy love...home sweet home.

Daily Hot Flash

• Oh happy day! I have a kindred spirit in Noelle Carter at the LA Times. It was brought to my attention yesterday that Carter, a self-professed 'bacon fanatic', prepared a list of 1001 things you can do with bacon. Number one on the list is a Candied Bacon Martini...my interest is piqued...but what really intrigues is the recipe for an Apple Bacon Coffeecake. Yummy!

• NHL thug and Vogue magazine intern Sean Avery proved he's got a way with the ladies this week when he referred to his ex-girlfriend actress Elisha Cuthbert as "sloppy seconds" in pre-game comments. Cuthbert is currently dating Calgary Flames superstar Dion Phaneuf. I think the one thing that Avery made crystal clear with his statement is that while he's dated way, way more than his fair share of beautiful women...they've all dumped his ass and he's a bitter and lonely man. I have a feeling he'll find that hooking up with sober chicks is going to be much more difficult for him. Girls love hockey, but we can tell the difference between guys with talent and guys with nothing. And yes, I am using the word 'talent' as a euphemism.

• The other dude who bent over backwards to make a gigantic ass out of himself this week was Pennsylvania Governor Ed "Yes, I'd love another doughnut! Why not? I'll take two." Rendell, who backhandedly complimented Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano as a good choice for Homeland Security Chief because she has "no family." Yes, despite the fact that this hard-working woman is smart -- she still has a vagina that might make her trip and fall down -- but since she's chosen not to use hers -- we can expect her to work 18 or 20 hours a day. Gosh, I don't know who should be more insulted -- unmarried women or working mothers. The one thing I think we can all agree on is that Rendell is a big fat boob. No wait -- boobies are good -- Rendell is a big fat moob. (That's a man-boob, Betty!)Let's face it -- with or without children -- women are capable and hardworking. I'm tired of the same old song about how women have to choose between children or a career. It's time to move on! Have we learned nothing from Hillary and Chelsea Clinton?

• I am the walrus...and I play the saxophone. Koo Koo Ka-choo!

• Cinderellas sell rocks when times are tough.

• Fashion designers submit sketches to Women's Wear Daily for Michelle Obama's inauguration gown. What will she wear?

Daily Hot Flash

I spent the morning in the doctor's office, so today's hot flash will have to be quicker than usual. That doesn't mean that it won't be just as much fun!

• I've been wearing her clothes all of my life...I can't afford it, but I would rock one of her outfits in a jiffy...if someone else paid the bill. I think Lilly Pulitzer is just one cool chick.

• Isn't this the premise of Devil Wears Prada? Someone is loving watching kharma coming back around to smack Anna in the backside. I loved the book because of all of the years I spent being someone's assistant. (Yes, I did it all...the kitchen sink and I wiped their butts!) But I have to admit that I think the screenplay is a better story...it's rare when that happens so I think it should be pointed out.

• I believe the headline of this article is "He's So Old." And I might add...he's only one year older than me. This does not make me happy.

• How fun would it be to have a signature scent created for yourself? You don't have to be one of the Olsen twins to make your dream come true.

• Oh, look! It's House Hunters International in the New York Times. How many BEAD-rooms does it have?

Cinderellavision

Michelle Obama is my new fashion role model. I love how she creates classic looks from the collections of cutting-edge designers.

Don't Point! Be Polite!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Celebrate by getting your mammaries grammed. Or take a loved one to get their mammogram. It's an act of love. Just do it!

Daily Hot Flash

• I was instrumental in inventing the microwave. Seriously, I didn't have one in my home until December 2007, so using John McCain's logic, I must've had something to do with the fact that it has become a ubiquitous kitchen appliance.

• Sarah Palin's wearing $2500 jackets and getting style advice from experts outside of the Beehive Beauty Salon in Wasilla. Despite all the expert fashion advice, Hillary still doesn't want to be seen with her. Instead it'll be the Katie and Sarah show. I hope they don't bring their pom-poms.

• Michelle Obama proves that you can have grace, substance and style...even when you're from a working class home.

• Carly Fiorina proves that her mouth and her ego are as big as any male CEO.

• Jon Stewart leaves us with a little something-something to think about...

Extra Tit-Bits

• And now for something completely different...You may have noticed that I haven't been as focused on the Olympic games recently, and so I guess I must shoulder some of the blame for everything that's gone wrong over in Beijing over the past 24 hours or so. I wasn't the only one who dropped the ball...both the men's and women's 4x100 relay teams from Team USA dropped their respective batons during preliminary heats and will not be going for a medal. I'm not a professional, but I do believe NOT dropping the baton is key to winning a relay race. Meanwhile, the Queens of Softball: Team USA -- in a big shocker -- lost the gold medal game to the Japanese and the USA women's water polo team got their asses kicked by the Netherlands. Fortunately, beach volleyball bombshells Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh played in the rain and won in straight sets over a very tough Chinese home team. The men in my world stayed up late watching that athletic competition...and I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that they were wearing wet bikinis and hugging after each point. Nothing at all. Team USA's soccer girls also came through with gold medals after defeating Brazil in overtime. Way to rock it, ladies!

• Just as I have always assumed...dressing 'real women' isn't something the fashion industry is actually interested in. It makes me outraged!

• We were eating sushi in the back corner of our favorite little Japanese restaurant in the Santa Clarita Valley when this song came on the radio. I couldn't stop my toes from tapping. It samples Warren Zevon's 'Werewolves of London' and 'Sweet Home Alabama.' Only Kid Rock could do it. But the real reason I'm including it here is that the video was filmed in northern Michigan. Makes me misty-eyed and homesick...

Morning Hot Flash August 14, 2008

• Last night I was talking to my best friend on the phone for the first time in like FOR-evah when she says, "Honey, I love you, but the swimming is on." I hung up immediately. The girl's got the fever. I confess that I've had impure thoughts about Michael Phelps in his swimming ahhhh...attire...and yes, you don't have to remind me that I'm old enough to be his mommy. Oh Mommy! We've all got the FEV-ah! I'm exhausted from monitoring the Olympic activities round-the-clock, and now they tell me they're going to add a little more eye candy to the closing ceremonies. I can't take it!
  
  
• It was my favorite angry chick you-done-me-so-bad song. It was such a let down to learn it was about one of the guys from Full House.
  
  
• Ask her if she wants to go to the mall. If she can text her answer back to you faster than she can talk, she's thirteen.

• Turns out my idol, chef Julia Child, was poaching more than salmon during World War II...she was poaching secrets too. The lovely Julia was a spy. I remember reading in her biography that she had worked for the OSS in China...I just assumed that meant she was a spy, but I'm going to act surprised so that I can be like everyone else this morning.
  
  
• A woman has won the hog-calling contest for the first time ever. Doris Probst entered the contests for both the hog-calling and the husband-calling at the Illinois State Fair this year. I'm not sure how things turned out for her in the husband-calling contest, but I think her triumph in the hog-calling is proof that bacon is better. Rock on, sister!

• Older chicks know that we don't have to pay a lot for fashion. It's our attitude that makes us look so goooooood!

Morning Hot Flash July 29, 2008

• Vanity Fair published their International Best-Dressed List on their website this morning. Oddly, I was not the Sarah included on the list. Obviously, they've heard about me wearing a twenty-year old bathing suit to swim in my apartment complex's pool. I do try to wait until others are not around...but word must've leaked out. See if you're on The List.
  

• 41 year-old actress gets engaged to 28 year-old hottie. And why not?
  

• 80 year-old Oscar winning actress tears up the scenery every night in a Tony-winning play on Broadway. And why not?
  

• Thank you, Jesus! What a girl really needs first thing in the morning is a few less things to worry about while she tries to put on eyeliner without poking an eye out.
  

• She has giving birth to eighteen children over the past twenty-three years. We are exactly the same age, and just what do I have to show for my life? That's right, full and complete access to the television remote control 24/7!

Extra Tit-Bits

• The fact that the economy is in the toidy is bringing us a new look on fashion runways this season. It's Neo-Depression era chic! Hello! Can you say Charleston lessons?

• Silly me! I thought it had something to do with personal hygiene.

• He's currently vacationing on a South Sea island with Amelia Earhart...

• Why is it that when powerful women write books for how to tap into your power the books are always geared to young women? I need a book about harnassing my middle-aged girl power. Can someone get Wonder Woman on the phone? Anyone? Bueller?

• I'm a time-waster...I'm a time-waster...(Sing-along to the melody of girl watcher, please.)

• Turns out my dream house is located in Stillwater, Minnesota. And it's got the dreamy Sam Shepard already living in it! Oh-so incredibly convenient.
  

Morning Hot Flash July 28, 2008

• I fell asleep long before the premiere episode of the second season of "Mad Men" was even at the halfway point. I managed to see the opening montage -- which was lovely, but after that things get a little cloudy. Did Don Draper actually spend Valentine's Day with Betty? No. That couldn't be true. When you have a 4:30 a.m. wake-up call, it's hard to still be awake for the eleven o'clock news the night before. Jay Leno falls in the "I'd love to, but I can't" category, and I have a better chance of sleeping with Craig Ferguson than I have of being awake to see his show. So please, don't tell me what happened on last night's episode of "Mad Men." I have it on my DVR and will enjoy it this afternoon when I get home. Until then, I'll get my fix behind the scenes...

• Helen Thomas is one of the original old broads. I admire her spirit, her smarts and her perseverance. I can hardly wait to see the documentary about her life in the White House press corps.

• A bunch of former employees of Google got together to create something really cool. Only they decided to spell it a little bit differently. Check it out here...it's way cuil!

• I'm always a day late and a dollar short. I'll be mailing my reservation in for next year's conference right after lunch.

• I have always been fascinated with the idea of ghost . I love visiting ghost towns. I think it grew out of my long-time fascination with history. And now there's a website devoted to ghost towns so that you and Caspar can plan your next vacation.

• I don't know about you, but my self-esteem has been in a witness protection program for years.

Morning Hot Flash July 24, 2008

• Did they think I bought The Devil Wears Prada because the name Prada was in the title? Seriously?
  


• Turns out if you win "Project Runway" then you don't have to make clothes that people can actually afford. That's fierce!
  


• Neil Patrick Harris finds a role worthy to follow his ground-breaking performance in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle.

• Did anyone else read From The Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler when they were a kid? It was one of my favorite books -- two kids runaway from home and hide-out in the Metropolitan Museum of Art for a week -- living off of the funds collected from the museum's fountain at night. Well, times are tough and you can't live like that anymore.

Morning Hot Flash July 23, 2008

• It's Wednesday...and around my house that means Tim Gunn rules! For the whole hour.

• It's not an official girl fight unless they're in Jell-O.

• When my dad died, his boss came and took aways his home computer. There was never any talk about a job.
  

• I love this idea, but do you know how many emails I delete every day about drugs that will make my penis larger? I'm fairly certain I could quickly learn to ignore these emails too.
  


• It doesn't matter which side of the political fence that you stand on -- this website provides a daily round-up of political articles that keep you abreast of exactly who is leading the horse race that is the 2000 Presidential campaign. Bookmark it!
  


• Disney picks two white dudes to replace Ebert & Roeper on At the Movies. How refreshing!
  
  
• Godspeed, Heather Locklear! May rainy days and Dr. Christmas Jones never get you down.