Post-Holiday Diet From Hell Plan

I'm on a diet. Yes, there was something about watching this little varmint enjoying a cookie while luxuriating on a leopard skin blanket that made me say to myself -- "Self, you could stand to lose a few." I've also heard that blondes are preternaturally drawn to animal prints. That could explain a lot.

You can call it whatever you want -- Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Lap Band, O Band, The Cookie Diet, The Cleanse, or SlimFast...it's all Hell. Don't kid a kidder...if it was any fun at all they'd call it a Ribeye Steak with Gorgonzola butter.