Friday, September 26, 2008

Will It Go 'Round In Circles?

When I was in elementary school, every year we had to take day-long assessment tests. I always looked forward to those days, mostly because I wouldn't have to do the regular lessons that I had no interest in -- specifically math & science. Instead, while taking the tests, I would get to do a lot of reading. I set the curve on reading comprehension in my grade. The tests were simple. There was a short story, and then a series of questions about that short story to see if you were comprehending what you were reading. I loved this test. I loved reading stories. I would finish the tests well before the allotted time, and then go back and re-read the articles just for fun...because it was reading! Yay! But every once in a while, I'd come across a more complicated article that would make me question my ability to comprehend. I'd be like -- is my brain not functioning? Why don't I get this? Usually it was because the paragraph was really stupid -- or because it was about science.

I haven't questioned my ability to comprehend since those assessment tests thirty years ago, until I watched Katie Couric interview Sarah Palin. At first I thought my brain wasn't functioning. And then I realized what the problem was -- Palin wasn't talking about science -- so she must be really stupid.

Couldn't we give her the job as the den mother of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders (The nation's team, and therefore the nation's cheerleaders) instead of putting her in a position where she could be one French manicured fingertip away from pushing the button?

I have a great deal of respect for the people of Alaska -- but they're not known for their schools of higher learning. They're known for their toughness and perseverance. I've spent the last eight years of my life knowing that the guy sitting in the White House was the kid in my fifth grade class who didn't finish the reading comprehension section of the assessment tests in the time allotted. Can't we do better? I guess it doesn't matter...because the sky is falling so no one will ever know how stupid she is...


Sarah Goes To The United Nations. Doesn't it sounds like a good title for a children's book with lots of fluffy little illustrations? And it looks a lot like the plot of your favorite movie...

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Daily Hot Flash

  • Brilliant! Let's postpone Caribou Barbie and Joe Biden's debate too...I hope John McCain realizes that a girl who went to six schools in five years is not going to get any smarter any time soon.

  • They're calling her a 'game changer.' I think she's more like 'the closer.' Rock on, Rachel

  • The Food Network's lovely semi-homemade Sandra Lee is getting her own magazine. This girl knows how to throw together a great meal without having to go all gourmet.

  • I would do anything for an afternoon of shopping in New York City with Tim Gunn. In my fantasy, we would go to some funky little women's clothing stores where he knows the designers. He would help me select a few key items for my wardrobe that would make me feel fantabulous every single day. After our fantasy shopping trip, we would have vanilla lattes and split a dessert at a cozy sidewalk cafe. Ok, back to reality...


David Letterman gets stood up by John McCain....and can't get over it!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Daily Hot Flash

  • One of my all-time favorite films is coming to Broadway as a musical. The early review isn't great...but there's still plenty of time to work things the mean time, I suggest you rent the DVD and enjoy the movie again...It's still just as funny...and unfortunately just as politically relevant.
  • Enjoy the movie with a cheap wine, these days you can get one that's better than Boone's Farm Strawberry Wine...and doesn't have the tell-tale screw-off lid.
  • I admit I am fascinated by Brangelina. Not because they're young, rich and beautiful, but because they're citizens of the world -- moving from a French chateau to a palatial villa outside Berlin. I don't know how they do it -- this constant moving. I'm still fighting with The Gas Company to get a $55.00 overpayment on my last apartment applied to the bill at my new apartment. ( I moved Dec '07.)I gave up two months ago and asked if they'd just cut me a check. They said it would take twelve weeks to process my request. Go figure!


CNN's lovely and talented Campbell Brown pulls an Olbermann in a rant about the sexist way Sarah Palin is being treated. Bravo, girl!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Cinderella Takes A Sick Day

Mad Men: 1. Todd and Sarah Palin: 0.

I don't like going to the doctor. I will ignore symptoms until I'm really sick. Well, I'm really sick. I spent Saturday afternoon in the waiting room at the local Urgent Care because I don't have a doctor in the area. The Handsomest Man Alive, Part One, returned from a business trip to hold my hand in the waiting area. I was not well-behaved that afternoon. Twisiting and turning in my chair while complaining, moaning, and whining like a four-year old that 'I wanna go home.' He later told me that I had bequeathed all of my worldly goods to him in a poignant speech about how much I've enjoyed our limited time together now that I had but a very few days...hours...minutes to live. I was in pain, so my recollection of the incident is hazy, but the laughs are on him if he's counting on inheriting anything more than a vacuum that spits out more dust than it sucks up, and an elderly tortoiseshell cat.

The nice lady doctor poo-pooed my list of ailments. My examination amounted to having her look at me with a flashlight from across a windowless broom closet -- I was given a prescription and a cup. After I got my prescription filled -- the doctor called and said that my lab results had come back and I was indeed sick. I think she was surprised to come across someone who really was sick. I looked around that rogues' gallery of a waiting area, and decided most everyone else there wasn't THAT sick that it couldn't have waited for Monday. So I went back to the pharmacy that had been able to prepare my first prescription in twenty minutes and waited for an hour and a half for the real thing. I wouldn't have minded if I wasn't in pain all that time. And that's the thing about being sick -- when you're really sick -- it's the pain.

So Cinderella is taking a sick day. I'll be back as soon as the drugs kick in...