Monday, July 2, 2012

Wedding CAT-astrophe #1

The bridal salon called the other day to tell me that my wedding dress had come in. We made a road trip down to pick it up. Somehow picking up my wedding dress had been transformed from an errand to an event -- and there ended up being two men in the party -- one of whom was the HMA. Fortunately, when you spend such a whopping sum of money on a dress, they give you a bag to put over your dress so your groom can't see it. Good news!

Bad news! There was so much commotion when I tried on the dress in the store that I didn't notice that my dress was shorter than the sample dress I had tried on. Fast forward to the middle of the night, when much like the nun in the story of Madeleine, I knew that something just was not right. I couldn't sleep. I was sure the dress was tea-length.

So the next day, I attempted to try on the dress at home alone. This is difficult. Wedding dresses are not meant for you to get into them on your own. They are made in anticipation of you having an entire harem of women to zip, tuck and button you up. I wrestled my way into it, but I still couldn't tell if it was too short. So I put the other part of the dress and put my bathrobe on over it and I asked the HMA if he would mind coming to look at it. 

As I walked across the hallway upstairs, Roxy was just coming up the stairs. She took one look at the train following me around the house and her little kitty eyes lit up. You could see her thinking, "Eureka! Mom wants to play!" One leap and she landed in the middle of the train, in the middle of my very expensive dress.  And I couldn't reach her -- so there I stood in the middle of the hallway screaming "Roxy! Bad Kitty!" while spinning around in the circle like a one-oared boat trying to grab a cat who seriously thought she couldn't remember when she'd had such a fine time. Finally, I think she took the hint -- or got bored and she jumped off the train and took off on the hunt for some other kind of trouble to get into.

I don't believe Roxy's ride caused any or much damage. I still can't tell if the dress is too short. And the HMA wasn't much help. I can't imagine what the next wedding catastrophe will be -- but I know it's coming…