I Love L.A.

I fell in love with Jim Rockford's Los Angeles. Later I discovered the hard-boiled detectives that had populated the streets of L.A. in the 40s and 50s and fell in love all over again. This review echoed a lot of my feelings about literary Los Angeles. My own problem with James Frey isn't that his work isn't spectacular -- his memoirs turned out to be riveting works of fiction -- it's that every time I see him interviewed, I am overwhelmed by his sense of entitlement. Wanna fall in love with L. A.? Read this over a cup of spice tea at Elixir.

Happy Fourth of July!

These kids are waiting patiently to see the parade in Leland, Michigan. It's the best hometown parade in all of North America. This year's parade is special because my mom is the Grand Marshall. She will cruise down Main Street in a gold 1973 Cadillac El Dorado convertible with a white leather interior. There is no where in the world I'd rather be, so for everyone who, like me, has to work on this holiday...let freedom ring!

Never Gonna Give You Up!

Have you been Rickrolled? Rick Astley was one of my MTV favorites. A pencil-necked, ginger-haired, Brit boy with a big, booming voice. His tunes made you get up and dance in the 80's. And they still seem to be able to make feet happy. Want proof? I dare you not to bob your head.

Extra Tit-Bits

• I'm feeling a lot less guilty about the $150 jeans that I bought with mine.

• And the seeds are fun to spit too!

• Did someone just asked to see her downward-facing dog?

• The nose still plays.

Morning Hot Flash July 3, 2008

• Everyone's talking about the scandalous secrets revealed at the contentious divorce trial of Supermodel Christie Brinkley and the rat formerly known as her husband, Peter Cook. Personally, I think the most shocking thing he said on the stand was that he actually PAID for Internet porn. For Heaven's sake, even I know that the Internet is a virtual cornucopia of porn. But what I really want to point out is that Christie is 54 years-old...smokin' hot. That poor teenybopper was unfortunately rockin' an outfit similar to Christie's classic style, and she couldn't pull it off. I can hardly wait to see what Christie's wearing for her court appearance today. [Ed. note: ETOnline reports Christie Brinkley looked classy in a blue sweater and black pencil skirt when she arrived in court this morning.] You go girl!

• Social statement or the perfect thing to wear when you're having a bad hair and make-up day? I'll let you decide...while I find out if I can order online.

• One of my favorite shows on PBS is "History Detectives." If you haven't seen it, give yourself a treat and set your DVR to catch it. The new season has just kicked off. And now, this...I cannot tell I lie, it's so totally cool.

• How do they do her mammogram without giggling uncontrollably?

• Things that make you go hmmmm... and I thought Sarah Jessica Parker wrote "Sex And The City."
  
  

Extra Tit-Bits

• I remember when Madonna first burst onto the music scene. I started wearing my underwear over my clothes. When I found out she was just a girl from Detroit I became a fan for life. I remember staying up late to see a new Madonna video debut on MTV. She may be pushing 50, but MinOnline reports the "Behind the Cover" video of the Material Girl's cover shoot at Elle.com was its biggest single traffic driver in April. Papa don't preach!

• I think I dated this guy...no wait...he's very particular.

Morning Hot Flash July 2, 2008

• Here's a little ditty that our rocker-girl Sheryl Crow isn't going to be caught reading next to the pool this summer. I'm insulted by the announcement of the release of the new book, "Buying the Cow in the Age of Free Milk: The Get-Your-Man-to-Marry-You Plan," on so many levels that I don't know where to begin. I'll just say -- "how did that chick get a book deal? Is it cuz she's a doctah?" -- and leave it at that.

• Oh, Canada! You know that guy who sings the annoying "Free Credit Report Dot Com" song that you can't help yourself from singing along with every time its on the television, radio, etc...turns out he's Canadian, like the bacon.

• I like her so much better now that she's dead.

• Oh, god! My 'Plan B' just fell through...and I'm at an age when a good health care plan and a 401(k) is important.

• I know I'm supposed to be shocked, shocked, I tell you, that Madonna may or may not be unfaithful in her marriage, but all I can think to say is...you go, you cougar-girl. Just remember to use precaution...and by the way, your husband's on the next plane over the Atlantic.

• Can you blame her?

What's Happening, Hot Stuff?

Molly Ringwald was my favorite muse of filmmaker John Hughes when I was in high school. I honestly believed that I would grow out of my awkward phase and Jake Ryan would fall in love with me.

Now she's playing a middle-aged mom on a new ABC Family television show. At least one of us finally grew out of that awkward phase.

Extra Tit-Bits

• The guilty pleasure that I participate in on an almost daily basis is "House Hunters International." I now understand that I can't afford to own a home anywhere in the world....but if I could afford it, I would live near one of these little jardins...That's Fray-ench for garden.
  

• After "Grey's Anatomy" star Katherine Heigl made some rather impertinent remarks about the writers of the Emmy award-winning television show, she's put her house up for sale.

• This isn't the first time that Katherine has said something to say. Yes, that Apatow. Which brings us to today's Classic Movie Quote:
  

Announcer: You're watching Channel 4 News with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee.

Veronica: Good evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation.

Morning Hot Flash July 1, 2008

• The Screen Actors Guild contract expired last night. Here in Los Angeles, we're all taking a moment...

• Finally! A wrap that will go with all of my shoes.

• I'll be going to the polls in my Seven For All Mankind jeans...what about you?

• If the "Little House On The Prairie" look starts being featured on fashion runways...I'll kill myself.

• Why are all must-read new novels set in Manhattan starring filthy rich and obscenely thin women who own fifty pairs of Christian Louboutin shoes? Why aren't any must-reads set in the 'burbs, starring slightly chubby and bank account-challenged middle-aged women who wear flip-flops from Kohl's?

I'll Have What She's Having...

I used to watch "Charlie's Angels" when I was in high school. I thought that once my acne cleared up, I'd grow up to look like one of them. Now that I'm in my 40s...I'm sure my acne will clear up soon.

Meanwhile, Jaclyn Smith refuses to age. She's the current host of the reality snore-fest "Shear Genius" on Bravo. It's a very poor place holder for the fabulously exciting "Project Runway."

I don't know why Ponce de Leon ending up finding Florida in his search for the fountain of eternal life, because the juice is obviously on tap over at Jackie's Beverly Hills crib.

Extra Tit-Bits

• Because having one isn't enough.
  


• Youngest chick ever wins the LPGA U.S. Open...but it's the old hen who gets the eagle.

Morning Hot Flash June 30, 2008

• Based on the successful "America's Next Top Model," the BBC has launched "Britain's Missing Top Model" featuring eight disabled contestants who are competing for a top modeling contract. No worries...we've already got our own disabled modeling program in the United States.

• Shocking news that the people who are watching television aren't even a part of TV's target demo anymore. The oldest skewing shows are "Monk" and "Women's Murder Club" -- which comes as no surprise to fans of those shows who used to watch "Murder, She Wrote" with their me-maws.

• No one is happy when a gallon of gas cost more than a cup of coffee.

• Women over 40 are still invisible...but now that Sex And The City: The Movie was box office boffo...Hollywood wants to see our wallets.

• Why am I reading this article that was written by a guy? Cuz I just might learn something...

• Bill tells Barack to pucker up...which brings us to today's Classic Movie Quote:
  
  Aaron: No, I think anyone who puckers up their lips and presses it against their bosses buttocks and then smooches is an ass-kisser.

Here's To You, Mrs. Robinson

There's a reason why Deanna's not keeping her maiden name. And it's not because she didn't get married until she was almost 40. 

It's Hard Out There For a Pimp Over 40

There are many things that are easier when you're over 40...telling someone what's really on your mind...buying tampons and/or Vagisil when there's a really hot guy at the cash register...getting a restaurant to turn on the a/c because you're having a flash...but looking for a new gig in digital media isn't one of them.

You Give Love A Bad Name

I've been told that Courtney Love has some cultural significance in the world. I am loathe to actually believe that rumor. For heaven's sake, Courtney! You are every man's nightmare about women over 40 come true. You're wearing me-maw grey cotton panties underneath a lacy see-through dress. Don't you know that's what men fear is going on underneath our clothes?

Maybe you thought you were scoring points by wearing a matching bra and panty set. Unfortunately, the set you're wearing is something my college roommate would wear to have brunch with her folks on Parents Day...and she was on the lacrosse team, enuf said.

Men want to believe that all women are wearing silky satin matching push-up bra and thong panties under our clothes. Yes, they are delusional. But I see no reason why you should burst their bubble...