The bridal salon called the other day to tell me that my wedding dress had come in. We made a road trip down to pick it up. Somehow picking up
my wedding dress had been transformed from an errand to an event -- and there ended
up being two men in the party -- one of whom was the HMA. Fortunately, when you
spend such a whopping sum of money on a dress, they give you a bag to put over
your dress so your groom can't see it. Good news!
Bad news! There was so much commotion when I tried on the
dress in the store that I didn't notice that my dress was shorter than the
sample dress I had tried on. Fast forward to the middle of the night, when much
like the nun in the story of Madeleine, I knew that something just was not
right. I couldn't sleep. I was sure the dress was tea-length.
So the next day, I attempted to try on the dress at home
alone. This is difficult. Wedding dresses are not meant for you to get into
them on your own. They are made in anticipation of you having an entire harem
of women to zip, tuck and button you up. I wrestled my way into it, but I still couldn't tell if it was too
short. So I put the other part of the dress and put my bathrobe on over it and I
asked the HMA if he would mind coming to look at it.
As I walked across the hallway upstairs, Roxy was just coming up the stairs. She took one look
at the train following me around the house and her little kitty eyes lit up. You could see her thinking, "Eureka! Mom wants
to play!" One leap and she landed in the middle of the
train, in the middle of my very expensive dress. And I couldn't reach her -- so there I stood
in the middle of the hallway screaming "Roxy! Bad Kitty!" while
spinning around in the circle like a one-oared boat trying to grab a cat who seriously thought she couldn't remember when she'd had such a fine time. Finally, I think she took
the hint -- or got bored and she jumped off the train and took off on the hunt
for some other kind of trouble to get into.
I don't believe Roxy's ride caused any or much damage. I
still can't tell if the dress is too short. And the HMA wasn't much help. I can't imagine what the next
wedding catastrophe will be -- but I know it's coming…
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