Simon Cowell is scrambling to put together enough dough to sign internet superstar Susan Boyle to a recording contract and Oprah is scrambling to get her on her show, and it turns out the lovely Susan has already made a recording. Her version of "Cry Me A River" was on a 1999 CD that was put together for a local charity. It will rock your socks off. So please, before you hit the play button, make a cup of tea. Or coffee, if you prefer. I would advise to throw caution to the wind, and if you've got sticky buns or coffee cake or cookies hidden in the house, toss 'em in the microwave for a few seconds to make them gooey and delicious. And then turn the volume up on your computer -- this will work best if you use the computer with the loudest speakers in the house, so if you have to use your husband's computer or one of your kid's computers -- go ahead and bust the code. Once you hear this chick sing, you won't feel guilty. Then pick out a comfy chair in the room and hit the play button. You're going to have to hustle to get across the room before the song starts -- but it'll be worth it. I promise you, listening to Susan Boyle will be the highlight of your day. Go ahead, hit the play button again and again until you're satisfied. Is it me, or does she sound a lot like Jo Stafford? I will be first in line for the Susan Boyle CD. She's one Scottish lass who gives spinster crazy cat ladies a good name.