Morning Hot Flash August 20, 2008

• Kansas Governor and 60 year-old hottie who rocks the silver hairs, Kathleen Sebelius, is a long shot to win the Obama Veepstakes this week. She shares Obama's political POV, but she doesn't balance the ticket with enough international experience. Insiders also say if Obama picks her it would be a slight to Hillary. I love Hill...but she's gotta get over it! Kathleen Sebelius and I share a homebase in Leland, Michigan....so I'm cheering for her all the way! You go, girl!

• Since I moved to the suburbs I discovered Applebee's has a Weight Watcher's menu with a tasty tilapia dish. They also make a delicious Margarita. Yeah, right -- they cancel each other out, but I hope the facelift they're getting doesn't turn out like Jennifer Grey's nose...nice, but too different.

• You know you look fabulous!!!! But just in case, here's some scientific information about wrinkle removers that will prevent you from spending $29.95 on a Guthy Renker product that you see on the television in the middle of the night while you're struggling with insomnia and you will regret when it makes you bounce your checking account. No, I have no personal experience with this at all...

• I hope the 2014 and 2016 Olympics are in my time zone...I'll be too old by then to be as sleep deprived as I am now. You have to get up at the butt crack of dawn to make the early bird buffet by 4:30 p.m.

• Just for fun...check out this animated view of the dog days of Summer.

Extra Tit-Bits

• With apologies sent to the stables, Cloris Leachman is the kind of old broad that I aspire to be. At a recent screening of Young Frankenstein, I watched her hold her own on stage with Mel Brooks -- who lives to upstage whoever he's sharing the stage with. Watch her hold her own at a roast of Bob Saget. Goodnight, Frau Blucher! [Horses whinny.]
  
  
• Olympic officials give the Spanish synchronized swimmers a wardrobe malfunction.

• Meet Yoda. He can hear a can of Fancy Feast being opened from five miles away.

• The Smash Shack is not mine...but I think it's a great idea. Sarah rocks!
  

Morning Hot Flash August 19, 2008

• Sports Illustrated's new cover boy looks pretty good to me. I remember when Mark Spitz posed for a similar cover back in 1972. His gold medals look like chump change next to Phelps' stash. Here's speculation about who Michael Phelps might be snogging...other than me... in my dreams.

• Chicks like sports! We're watching the Olympics and they're trying to sell us stuff.
  


• Good news for Tits McGee! Let this be a lesson to those of you that think it can't happen to you. Get your long-overdue mammogram today.
  


• Obama is ready to tell the world about his new BFF. McCain will give us the name of his partner in crime on August 29 in Ohio. I hope they both bring bug spray -- things can mighty humid in the Midwest that time of year.

• A few of us seem to be getting better with age. Rock on!

It's Not Working Properly

Does anyone else find it funny that the 'cone of silence' they keep talking about in the same sentence with John McCain's appearance at the Saddleback Church is a reference to the bumbling spy comedy 'Get Smart?' Did Pastor Rick Warren not get the memo? It never did really work.

Extra Tit-Bits

This is one of my favorite video clips ever from an Olympic broadcast...Yes, it involves spandex but, no, it has nothing to do with Michael Phelps' swimming attire or women over 40, but once Al & Matt start giggling...I'm a goner...It will make you smile. Then watch NBC's Jeff Zucker pat himself on the back for doing such a great job on the Olympics.I hope he's still patting himself, and not wishing he had a V-8, when the fall television season starts a month from now.

Here's a little update on the race you were watching before the Olympics started...I know it's hard to remember your life before you were sleep deprived and having dirty daydreams about a 23-year-old swimmer from Baltimore.

If you've ever worked hard at the craft of writing then please don't read this...it will make you very upset. On the other hand, maybe it will make you upset enough that you will finally finish the writing project that you've been working on for the past five years. So go ahead...read this!

Morning Hot Flash August 18, 2008

• Take a moment from celebrating the achievements of Team USA swimmer Michael Phelps, who won his 8th gold medal of the Beijing Olympics over the weekend, to celebrate the life of one cool California girl and a ground-breaking athlete in her own right.

• A new documentary focuses on America's obsession with unattainable beauty. Hmmmm....
  


• If you still haven't gotten enough peeks of Michael Phelps' abs...I don't blame you...then maybe you should visit his website.
  


• Middle-aged chicks get married. To each other.
  
  
• Have you been following the saga of Tom Cruise and his producing partner, Paula Wagner? It's really starting to get interesting, more interesting, in fact, than most of the material that Cruise probably has in development right now. Although his most recent turn as a studio chief in Tropic Thunder shouldn't be missed.

• Jon Stewart is the most influential journalist of our time. That's funny, because I'm so old I remember when he was a comedian and television host.

I Know What You Did Last Night

During a regular work week by Friday morning I'm feeling enough sleep deprivation that I need an extra shot of coffee to keep it rolling along. This week, there isn't enough coffee in all of Columbia to keep me going. I need a serious nap, but I can't stop watching the Olympics. And from what I can tell from the status updates of my friends on Facebook -- they can't either. Here's just a sample of the updates I've seen this week:

has cleared her calendar for the next two weeks to watch the Olympics.

has three words for you. Men's, Synchronized, Diving.

is watching the Olympics and thinking about sex.

doesn't want to go to bed for fear he'll miss something fun.

is wondering what he will do with his free time when the Olympics are over.

has just been handed a copy of "Breaking Dawn" and is wondering how much this will cut into her Olympic viewing.

is still watching the Olympics.

is staying up way past her bedtime watching the Olympics.

is exhausted from staying up too late watching the Olympics.

is loving the swimming & gymnastics...but hating that I'm getting very little sleep. ZZZZZZZZZZZ!

is done being on Beijing time and will now use her Tivo for its God-given purpose.

is certain that Michael Phelps can't be as tired from winning Olympic medals as she is from staying up late watching him.

is totally psyched for the Giant Slalom and the Luge.