Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I Can See Clearly Now

A couple months ago I went to the eye doctor to get a new contact lens prescription. I was overdue for an update. The nice optometrist at Costco told me that I would need reading glasses. I scoffed. I'd been fighting it for a few years, but the minute I had my new contacts installed -- I couldn't see my checkbook to pay for the exam. I knew I had a problem. They sold reading glasses at Costco, but they came in a three-pack. "I don't need three pairs." I just need one. Ha! The other night I forgot my reading glasses when we went out to dinner, I nearly burst into tears when I had to have the menu read to me like I was a three year-old child. Needless to say, I finally purchased a very stylish pair of reading glasses at Wal-Mart. Christie Brinkley reading glasses. Yes, the former Sports Illustrated swim suit model, who every man in the world wanted to get with, is now selling reading glasses to women over 40. Christie is over 50, and still incredibly gorgeous, and I know a girl's got to earn a living, but...it got me thinking about...stuff.

June Allyson was one of the most beautiful actresses ever in Hollywood. Do you remember her as a gorgeous young starlet? Me neither. I only know she was a sexy hot, hot, hottie because of photos I've seen of her while she was having a torrid romance with dapper Dean Martin. Yes, that Dean Martin. I remember June Allyson as the elderly spokesperson for Depends adult diapers. What about Florence Henderson? She was the sexy mom to six kids on Brady Bunch when I was growing up. Now? She's the new spokesperson for Polident denture cleanser. Can you believe it? I don't deny any of these over 40 chicks the right to make bacon, but I do think that you also need to think about how you want to be remembered.

That's why I'm hoping that Hillary Clinton realizes that everyone is waiting for her to say something to inspire the PUMAs. (It stands for Party Unity My Ass. The PUMAs are mostly middle-aged women who are pissed off because they're feeling underserved by the Democratic party and they're threatening to toss their votes to McCain.) These chicks watched women make inroads in equality and justice in the 70s and then watched the passion for their cause die down to a whimper in the 80s. That's tough. They supported Hillary's campaign and now...they can't let go. So tonight, I'm hoping Hillary says something inspirational that will let them let go. Obama needs their support. Let that be Hillary's legacy to the Democratic party. I'm proud of her and the eighteen million cracks she made in the glass ceiling, but I think backing Barack may further her career more than an endorsement of a depilatory product. Not that she would ever need or consider such an endorsement...I'm just saying we've already got Nair. Go girl!

1 comment:

Mindy said...

I just got new contacts that are supposed to have a sort of a "ring" that helps me to see close up too. So far they seem to be working ok, because since I don't go to WalMart I hadn't discovered the Christy Brinkley reading glasses yet.

I don't think that Hillary will disappoint. And it's still possible that her late-age fame will for being PRESIDENT. Someday. Just not this time.